• DecipheringNames

Deciphering Men and Womens Names

Men

• Aaron - tosser but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
• Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, has the potential to be stalked.
• Adrian - small todger, probably gay.
• Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
• Alex - cute and short but a liar and a cheat.
• Amir - dirty, smelly, pecker is minuscule.
• Andrew -usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
• Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.
• Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee.
• Arnold - loser.
• Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.
• Ashley - wanker who's losing his hair.
• Barry - lights fires, pinches girl's bottoms and is well hung.
• Ben - kind hearted, will do anything for the one he loves.
• Bert - looks like he has been pulled a hedge backwards and chews with his mouth open.
• Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
• Brad - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.
• Brandon - good looking but uses girls.
• Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
• Brett - worldwide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
• Brian - a wanna be charmer, he's not the Messiah he's just a very, very naughty boy.
• Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
• Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.
• Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
• Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a week.
• Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
• Cameron - Australian, like Bruce.
• Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.
• Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
• Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies.
• Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.
• Chris - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use it too.
• Christopher - soppy and too clingy to make a relationship last. spends most of his life drunk and kisses like a washing machine.
• Christian - very sexy and seductive.
• Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
• Clive - very sweet and adores girls, but prefers to watch.
• Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.
• Colin - lies to women and blows up public buildings.
• Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.
• Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.
• Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
• Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.
• Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
• Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice, highly homosexual.
• Darren - charming, but sleeps with men.
• Daryl - smells bad, has no real mates.
• David - hottie and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence. Can be gay!
• Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter ie. a wanker.
• Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.
• Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.
• Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll collection.
• Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.
• Don - dickhead.
• Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
• Drew - bad-arse loser who never shuts up.
• Duncan - hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago.
• Dylan - horny bastard, who can't sing.
• Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
• Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get 'cos he's an arsehole.
• Elliott - full of himself.
• Eric - shy.
• Ewan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.
• Frank - "ifferent" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy.

• Fred - sucks pig's dicks & swallows the lot.

• Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
• Gary - dreams about mud wrestling girls. drug addict but willing to share.

• Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.

• Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
• George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
• Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth.
• Graeme - very hard to understand, likes group sex.
• Graham - will screw anything.
• Grant - HORNY! But so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
• Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
• Harry - covers his back.
• Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
• Hathem - smooth, but manipulative, not to bet trusted around young girls.
• Hayden - tries hard.
• Henry - has gay like movements frequently. likes to run every where. would screw welli boots.
• Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography.
• Ian - really popular but knows all the girls want him... yeah right!
• Ivor - militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies.
• Jack - stupid but hot, always alright.
• Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
• Jamie - scum of the earth.
• James - built like a horse. likes to bite while kissing.
• Jason - big headed. never fails to grab the girls attension.
• Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
• Jeff - really ugly.
• Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.
• Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
• Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
• Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
• Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
• Joel - arse.
• John - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.
• Jolyon - absolute raving homosexual.
• Jon - countless two timer and bully.
• Jonathon - loud, sex mad and great with it - can be full of himself.
• Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.
• Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
• Josh - full of himself, fun.
• Junior - hottie and totally good at football.
• Justin - aggravating but loveable, insecure but successful.
• Judith - Eats a lot, likes to feel superior.
• Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
• Kane - an absolute and compleat arsehole.
• Kevin - always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large penis.
• Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.
• Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
• Kurt - can kick anyone's arse.
• Kyle - hornball who eats too many corn chips.
• Lance - Plays with his penis cos no one else will.
• Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.
• Laurie - short and funny looking.
• Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.
• Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.
• Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.
• Liam - loud mouthed arsehole.
• Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
• Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.
• Luke - seems to be sweet. bit of a tosser though.
• Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
• Marc - an idiot, who can't spell. would do anything for sex.
• Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks, mouthy bastard.
• Matt - the fat boy of the class, likes sweets and is full of shit.
• Mathew - has less brains than a donkey does in one of it's hoofs. thinks constantly about porn.
• Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl.
• Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
• Mike - shag muffin.
• Mohammed - small penis.
• Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
• Nick - nice -can't get past the missionary position though.
• Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.
• Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
• Oscar - loser.
• Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
• Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
• Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.
• Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
• Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
• Rhys - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long, long time ago.
• Richard - can't see his feet as balls are too big.
• Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.
• Rikki - see above.
• Rob - constantly watches porn.
• Ron - spends most of his time looking at the base of his spine, when his
• head is up his own arse.
• Roy - total loser and computer genius.
• Rupert - arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
• Russell - likes to play in the leaves, which makes him an arsehole.
• Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
• Sam - wannabe sex machine.
• Scott - has serious disabilities. also takes it up the butt.
• Sean - has small testicles and no friends.
• Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
• Shane -thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.
• Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
• Shaun - bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.
• Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Says he is the man but talks bollocks.
• Spencer - loves it right up there, normally with a toilet roll and a hamster.

• Steve - popular and funny & hung like a donkey.

• Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but great in bed.
• Ted - hairy, sensitive and a great shag.
• Teddy - great friend, crap boyfriend. clowns have been known to look more stylish.
• Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
• Toby - best blow ever.
• Tom - cool but can be arrogant.
• Tommy - no-one can have brains and looks. he is FYNE! but there isnt much
• behind it.
• Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around, prefers getting done up the
• Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.
• Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
• Troy - cute and popular.
• Taylor - happy, laughing hyena.
• Warren - cool, homosexual guy.
• Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.
• Will - wishes he were popular.
• William - tall, dark and handsom. ie when it's dark, he is handsom and tall.
• Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.
• Zack - thinks he is superman. great in bed due to ego.
• Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.

Women

• Ada - blue haired, smells of wee.
• Aimee - Likes to strut her stuff, though theres not much 2 do so. Likes to play with cheese.
• Aimz - Like italian breakfast bread rolls. hollow on the inside. would die to screw a lamar.
• Aisha - laughs like a demented dog, likes tic tacs.
• Alexandra - Smart kick ass chic.
• Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
• Amanda - IQ tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good shag though.
• Amy - devious, likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted.
• Aimz - limited intelligence.
• Andrea - small breasts, drinks pints.
• Angela - Vain, hairstyle more important than oxygen. Hangs around toilets.
• Anna - has eyes bigger than her stomach. but her waistline shows it.
• Annabelle - doesn't wear knickers.
• Annette - she's BIG.
• Anne - looks like a horse, can't drive.
• Anouska - shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance.
• Beatie - she would rather jump out of a plane with out a parashoot than having to pick up a spider.
• Belinda - pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
• Beryl - repressed alcoholic.
• Betty - makes simple tasks seem like brain surgery.
• Beverley - trapped in an eighties timewarp.
• Bianca - ginger.
• Bridgette - eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
• Britney - falsely improved, no use to society.
• Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
• Carina - looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.
• Carol - into everything you've only ever read about. Coin-operated.
• Caroline - into threesomes. Likes doggy style. Always up for it.
• Carly - the sexiest bitch in the world!!!!!!
• Carli - pretty but more mouth and flirting than action in the bedroom.
• Catherine - attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
• Claire - perfect in every way and a complete sex goddess.
• Celine - emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
• Charlotte - enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
• Cheryl - can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
• Christina - hasn't got much of a life due to being a boring person. likes cammels.
• Christine - likes men in uniform, never warm.
• Clauida - highly annoying. finds it hard to keep friends.
• Daisy - virgin.
• Danni - should make nice threesome with sibling.
• Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
• Dawn - gets up early, smells of chips.
• Deborah - bites the pillow, uses both hands.

• DeeDee - cannot understand why no one else masturbates in Ikea.

• Denise - sits on cat's eyes, wears too much make up.
• Diane - enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to society.
• Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
• Doris - purple haired, stinks of wee.
• Elaine - rides sidesaddle, drinks meths.
• Eleanor - centre of attention when she walks into a room, not always for the good. has the gift of gab.
• Elizabeth - born to perform, hates chickens.
• Ellie - far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth.
• Emily - wears odd socks but that doesn't mean shes not cute!
• Emma - gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
• Estelle - likes wombles, eats grass.
• Esther - plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
• Faith - legs meet at knees, can't shag standing up.
• Faye - wears wellies, can't swim.
• Felicity - she'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts
• Fiona - female mud wrestler, gives head.
• Frances - gives oral for a one pence peice. but loves to sow.
• Frankie - would make it as a farmer. people say she needs to shower more.
• Gail - farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
• Gayleen - big tall woman who talks shite all day.
• Gaynor - lesbian.
• Gem - like an arm chair. comfotable, loved, odd.
• Gemma - practically perfect in everyway. Loved by everyone. Good listener and friend.
• Geraldine - too posh for her own good, likes flying.
• Gillian - dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
• Gina - eternal mother, eats nappies.
• Glenda - eats children, hates smoking.
• Georgina - wants to be a man.
• Grace - blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
• Hannah - needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
• Heather - shags like a freight train, a screamer.
• Helen - loves sleeping and alcohol and is work shy.
• Heidi - the hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins.
• Hilary - frigid bitch. Thinks money grows on trees.
• Holly - prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.
• Ina - drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
• Ingrid - right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
• Jackie - heroin addict, sold her child.
• Janet - soft, warm and really cuddly. Good shag.
• Jane - enjoys wanking men (or women).
• Jasmin - smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
• Jemma - does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
• Jennifer - huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
• Jessica - virgin, always will be.
• Joanne - moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up!
• Jodie - absolutely perfect in every way, every group of friends should have one!
• Joy - would make a good exotic dancer. men love her.
• Judith - big eyes, big tits.
• Judy - huge tits, married to an arse.
• Julia - innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes.
• Justine- massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.
• Julie - jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.
• Karen - too smart for her own good and is insensitive to others.
• Katie - big feet, shags men over 50.
• Kate - talks complete bollocks all the time, scavenger.
• Katherine - is a follower. doomed to be successful but not happy, would fight for a tea cosy.
• Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
• Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a bloke and wears a wig.
• Kirsten - big tits, big heart, big mouth
• Kirsty - eats live moles, can't dance.
• Kristi - TUFF. Refuses milk with her cereal.
• Kylie - can't sing but who cares.
• Lana - hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
• Lara - action packed, never seen naked.
• Laura - likes Max power magazine, can't drive.
• Lauren - pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
• Leah - likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
• Lena - eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.
• Leslie - likes bondage, hates men.
• Linda - perfect in every way - a complete sex goddess.
• Lindsay - likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.
• Lisa - will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
• Livvy - pink, prim and perfect. people find this annoying.
• Liz - long legged and brainey.
• Lorraine - constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies.
• Louisa - sensible head on her shoulders. collects socks.
• Louise - real babe, bright too, I'd drink her bath water.
• Lucy - strange dancer, wants to marry her dad. theif.
• Madeline - drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
• Maggie - trainspotter, likes plaid.
• Margaret - lovely mother, very generous.
• Maria - bangs like a barn door.
• Marie - life's slapper. Likes men to do DIY.
• Marina - no get up and go, rusty underwear.
• Marilyn - eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
• Martina - ugly lesbian.
• Martine - can't act, can't sing, nice tits.
• Matilda - likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
• Mary - gets hurt easily.
• Meg - cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.
• Megan - loves nature, cares more for trees than people. radical and gets things done.
• Melanie - can hold two bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
• Melissa - eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.
• Meryl - dances like an ape, doesn't realise.
• Michaela - likes animals, should make a video with them.
• Michelle - wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
• Marsha - big butt, small brain.
• Monica - doesn't swallow, should have.
• Naomi - wannabe diva, more of a diver.
• Nancy - white hair, remembers manners.
• Natalie - eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
• Natasha - could use a face lift but is a sweet loyal friend
• Nell - hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
• Nicola - slapper, alcoholic in denial.
• Nicole - girls hate her, men use her and dump her.
• Nina - stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
• Nisha - hs a deep interest in the YMC. falls in love easily.
• Olga - you can park a bike in her arsecrack, excessive facial hair.
• Olivia - neutron bomb.
• Pamela - gives amazing head, made of plastic.
• Pat - forest forager, likes wild boar.
• Paula - transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
• Penelope - pit stop queen, likes men to be stiff.
• Penny - burps like a man, lives in dungerees and gets told to shut up alot.
• Phillippa - butt ugly lesbian.
• Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
• Rachel - amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arsecheeks.
• Rebecca - hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
• Rosie - can be prickly, good head-giver.
• Rula - she measures up well.
• Sadie - stand up if you're slim, please stand up.
• Sally - drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
• Samantha - loves her brother, has four deformed children.
• Sandra - shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.
• Sarah - hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn.
• Selina - doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
• Sharon - shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.
• Shirley - can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
• Sian - does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
• Simone - used to be a shot putter from Cardiff.
• Sonya - dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a carrier.
• Sophie - brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.
• Stacey - likes crotchless jeans and arseless Speedo's.
• Steffi - closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.
• Steph - is a pretty, loved by her family and price charming, has it all ie. spoilt daddy's princess.
• Stephanie - eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
• Sue - totally gorgeous!
• Tanya - hot minx, too short.
• Tara - upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.
• Tiffiany - annoying and clingy. but makes up for it by being damn fit.
• Tash - lives about 10 seconds behind everyone in the world but makes up for it with her tits Tina - face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
• Teresa - easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves kittens.
• Tori - lives in a hedge, can't water ski.
• Tracey - lesbian.
• Ursula - likes puppies, in curry.
• Vic - Likes to go comando. dreams of futures with lots of leather and men in thongs.
• Victoria - too smart for her own good and is insensitive to others.
• Vicky- likes Yoga and Men.
• Vikki - wears too much lipstick to taste food. runs after dumbarsed guys who dont like her.
• Wendy - possibly a man.
• Zara - face like an elephant's backside. cant see her toes from breast inhancements.
• Zoe - talentless rock chick.

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