Letting Be
In the practice life (used here in the sense of "practicing meditation", but that can be in the sense of "living your life" too), there is one particular cultural attitude that may wreak more havoc than any other: the deeply seated view that we have to do. We are culturally conditioned to believe that it is good to be active, to be productive. We have been programmed to assume that the way to happiness is to follow our inner compulsion to change and fix ourselves. The sense that we can do something to make things better is a deeply engrained quality of our substitute life.
Yet the basic theme of sitting practice is: no matter what we bring in the door or how we may be feeling-to simply sit there and let it be. We sit down, become aware of what's happening in our bodies and minds, experience its texture, and then just let it be. We can use the practice question, "What's going right now?" to become aware of the state of our mind, the state of our body, and the sensory input from the environment. To experience this, ask yourself this question right now. What is going on right in this moment? Notice your state of mind. Is it busy? Confused? Calm? Upset? Just notice. Also, notice the state of your body. Is it tired? Relaxed? Achy? Settled? Again, just be aware. Now notice the input from the environment - the temperature in the room, the shades-of light, and the sounds. You don't have to do anything - just become aware of it.
As we become aware of the textures of the moment, were apt to see one aspect or another as a problem to be solved or an obstacle to overcome. For example, if we're bored or sleepy during sitting, we usually judge it as a bad sitting. If we feel agitated or upset, we think we have to calm down. When we feel confused, we may long for clarity. But our practice is not to simply remember that no matter what may be happening, it doesn't have to be seen as an obstacle or enemy, nor as something to fix, or change, or get rid of In fact, from a practice point of view, whatever it is, it our path.
So the practice is to simply let life be. This is not passivity or pseudo-detachment. We still need the discipline to stay present, to remain still. The discipline is to choose in each moment not-to spin off, to choose to be precise in our labelling, and in our self-observation. We can practice this way both on and off the meditation cushion. The open mind that's willing to look at whatever arises - that wants simply to know, to be with, to reside in, the reality of the moment - is always accessible to us. We only need to ask the question, "What is this?" The answer to this question can never come from thinking or from intellectual analysis. The answer can only come from experiencing the physical reality of the present moment. There's an aliveness to the present moment; there's a sense of freedom when we can let our experience just be. By staying in the present moment, which is the doorway into reality, we can find a satisfaction and equanimity not available in a life based mainly on thinking, or in efforts to fix and control our world.
Struggling as we do when we try to fix or get rid of an experience, -whether in our sitting practice or in our life - is always optional. "Suffering" also is optional. This may be hard to accept, especially when we are addicted to our suffering, but we don't have to suffer our suffering! We can instead just observe it, experience it for what it is, and let it be.
For example, suppose we have physical pain or discomfort. Usually this pain will be followed by believed thoughts such as: "What's going to happen to me?" or "I can't believe this is happening." As soon as we get hooked into believing these thoughts, our suffering begins. The physical experience of discomfort becomes layered with the emotional suffering. In fact, these believed thoughts usually intensify and solidify our physical discomfort. Instead, we can choose to observe and label our thoughts, and then let our experience just be. What happens to the pain? Perhaps you can try this and see.
I'm not talking about calling our conditioning an empty illusion and pretending to let it go. That wouldn't be real. What I'm talking about is a certain lightness of heart that we can bring to our experience. Without attempting to be spacious, spaciousness naturally arises. It arises when we stop believing our judgments, especially the hardhearted ones we make about ourselves. When we stop resisting what is, and over time learn the willingness to be with it, ifs possible that we will even enjoy our repeating patterns, our little human drama, the whole passing show.
Living from the open heart doesn't require getting rid of our fears, our unwanted feelings and personality traits, our difficult situations. The only things we have to give up are our opinions and self-judgments. Then we see our drama and difficulties not as a catastrophe but as just conditioning, and we can approach them with less heaviness and more compassion. As we experience our drama within this bigger container of awareness, we can begin to relax into our sitting - essentially, relax into our life.
Perhaps we will even get a glimpse of the profound yet simple truth that all we really need to learn is the willingness to be. We don't have to do, or fix, or change anything. In our surrender to the moment we experience the equanimity of the genuine life, free from the filter of our judgments or the need for anything to be different.
This surrender to the moment is the essence of living the practice life. It is so simple, yet also very difficult to do consistently. Why? Because we're not willing, we don't want to be with life as it is. We want to believe our thoughts. But the practice life has to include seeing and working with this resistance - all of the endless ways we obstruct our openness. And then we learn to come back to simply be present, as best we can, with whatever our life is in this moment.
From BEING ZEN. Bringing Meditation to Life by Ezra Bayda.